I realized the hard part wasn't telling people. The hard part was the lonely, dark place I put myself in when faced with the reality that people knew I was gay. That emotionally draining pit was what I wanted to help Josh avoid because I knew he was going through the same thing.
Growing up in Corona in Southern California, I was an only child, with a single mom as my only parent. My father tried to be a part of my life when I was younger but it never built at the time into father-son relationship. My family was extremely large and we spent most holidays together. Throughout my life, I saw all of my aunts and uncles happy together, and my cousins in happy relationships. But they were all guy-girl relationships. “I’ve had such hard time coming to terms with my sexuality because I was scared that my family would hate me because homosexuality is a sin.” All I wanted was to be part of that norm. I knew I was attracted to men at a young age but I fought those emotions and pushed them far down. Along with my entire family being “normal,” my family is very involved with the Christian church. I’ve had such hard time coming to terms with my sexuality because I was scared that my family would hate me because homosexuality is a sin.Īthletically, I swam my entire life. I swam club and varsity my entire high school career. At my school, swimming was considered a “gay” sport because of our little Speedos.
